Many famous actors and comedians, despite their success, confess to being shy or to having social anxiety. Shocking, isn’t it? They are in front of others and a camera every day doing their thing and doing it well. These folks appear outgoing and fearless, yet they are uncomfortable and oftentimes fearful.
So, how can you apply this same fearlessness to your life? Try some of these ideas and see how much more outgoing you become.
Accept Your Feelings
There is no point in denying how you feel. You are uncomfortable with the social scene and being outgoing even though you wish you weren’t. It’s okay to feel that way. You’ll find by accepting this honest feeling, you’ll feel better.
Take Baby Steps
Start attending small events such as church, a local book club. Have dinner with a close friend and one of their other friends whom you don’t know well. But don’t go overboard. Don’t say yes to everything, but keep pushing your boundaries until you reach a comfortable balance.
Ensure Your Own Comfort
To feel more comfortable in your own skin, research the dress code and details of the event ahead of time. Wearing the appropriate clothing and knowing what to expect will ease your tension and help you feel more comfortable.
Focus on Being Yourself
It’s tempting to create a fake personality as you work on building your confidence, crushing your fear, and becoming more outgoing. However, it’s important that you be yourself at all times. Moreover, maintaining that false persona would be difficult at best, and disastrous at worst. You’ll enjoy life more if you let yourself shine as you are.
Go Forward with Fear
Chances are, you’re going to feel fear no matter what you do as you step out of your comfort zone. That is, those feelings you get in your gut, throat, and belly are normal. When you feel it coming on, try to translate it into excitement instead of fear and push forward with courage. Move from fearless to in charge!
Acknowledge Your Deficiencies
One thing that often makes people fearful of being around others is thinking that they must be perfect or that they are lacking in some way. However, nobody is perfect. It may seem like it on the outside, but it’s guaranteed there are flaws you don’t see. No matter your deficiencies, be they factual or perceived, you can still enjoy a healthy social life and will be accepted by your peers.
Work on Your Proficiencies
The qualities you like most about yourself are the ones you want to highlight. Those are the things that will make you memorable. If there are others you feel need a little improvement, work on becoming proficient in them.
Talk Positively to Yourself
You have to believe in yourself before others will believe in you. Before each event, give yourself a pep talk. Recite positive affirmations that help you stick to your goals and go forth with less fear. Above all, to work through fear and become more outgoing you have to face that fear. Push your boundaries and step out of your comfort zone. Each time you do so, you will grow. The more you practice, the more comfortable you will become.
Finally, remember to take it slow, acknowledge how you feel, and if you need, get help from a friend or loved one.
Test Drive
If you need a place to practice being fearless, I highly recommend Toastmasters. Small groups provide a supportive environment to test out your skills. Visit several clubs and see which one best suits you.